NERBS

"Nerb" is a neat term used to describe nouns that are made to do the work of verbs.

Google, as in "to google something", is a nerb that is heard all the time. Blogging is another nerb that describes something done in cyberspace, i.e. "entering a post on one's weblog". (Does it also cover reading other people's blogs?)

Recently I came across some nerbs that I think should be expunged from the language.

At a conference for teachers a friend was told of the importance of truthing students. Presumably this meant telling the truth to them. Or did it mean encouraging them to be honest – to other people and in their work?

Last week I was asked: "Do you powerpoint?" I pictured myself prancing around thrusting my finger into people's chests and bellowing important and convincing things at them. "Yes, I can and do use PowerPoint," was my correct yet much more mundane response.

A nerb for wet winter days

Speaking of pointy things, this afternoon I was out walking with my large metallic-grey coloured umbrella. As the rain began falling, I was extremely thankful for its shelter. I was not so thankful for the many people walking towards me beneath their large umbrellas – I'd forgotten how awkward the meeting of large umbrellas on narrow footpaths can be.

Being tallish, my usual tactic is to raise my umbrella high to try to pass over the umbrellas of oncomers. This can be a dangerous approach if a low-hanging tree is overhead. Today I tried 'the raise' a couple of times.

After narrowly missing a tree – well, okay, I hit it, but it didn't completely drench me – I decided to try the tilt. This involved sneaking an advance peek at oncomers and trying to guess their and their umbrellas' courses, and then tilting my umbrella into the vacant airspace. This may sound easy, but try it when two or three oversized-umbrella-wielding suits are striding towards you.

It was two steely-eyed corporate types who zeroed in on me today. Using the tilt and some nimble footwork, I avoided them. However, being so intent on umbrella-work, I forgot about that important obstacle which must be avoided when you step off the footpath – cars! Three steps onto the road I realised this as a 4WD bore down upon me too fast for comfort. Umbrella still raised, I broke into a sprint and with much relief, heard the car woosh behind me.

Thinking back on all the raising and tilting necessary for me to keep dry and safe as I walked from the train station to my appointment, a nerb, especially suited to wet winter's days came to mind - umbrella-ing.